No Way Out
by Daladakea
Summary: Summary: Newt is dead, but that doesn't mean he can't see his friends, and what he sees makes him wish dearly that he hadn't asked Thomas to pull that trigger. But what's done is done. Two shot with a sequel. Song in this belongs to Disney. It's from Brother Bear
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 _Everywhere I turn, I hurt someone,_

Newt was replaying memories in his ghost mind from his short life. He kept seeing the parts where he'd lost control or sanity towards the end. He kept hurting people. Always. He knew deep down that wasn't true, he really had been the one that everyone else bonded through, but that didn't stop the thought from crossing his mind.

 _But there's nothing I can say to change the things I've done_

He never should have asked Thomas to pull that trigger. He could see Thomas feeling the survivor's guilt everyday. He still hadn't told Minho. Newt would do anything to take back some of the nasty things he'd said under the Flare's grasp. He'd said and done a lot of hurtful things. He'd always regretted it when his sanity came back in brief spurts, but now he had all of eternity to watch his friends suffer over the last thing he'd ever said, "Kill me, Tommy, please!"

 _I'd do anything within my power, I'd give everything I've got!_

 _But the path I seek is hidden from me now._

 _Brother Bear, I've let you down._

Newt thought every day and night about what he should have done, could have done, to slow down the Flare in his brain. He could have written himself notes, done calming exercises to keep his neural pathways in his amygdala from going through the infected areas. But he hadn't thought of that, he'd been too afraid of his fate to do something about it. And he would do anything for one more day with Thomas and Minho and all the others. As long as he hadn't hurt them that is. The truth was, Newt decided, he'd let everyone down. He hadn't been there for them when they needed him. He hadn't been there to comfort Thomas for Teresa's death. He'd watch Thomas think of her and cry sometimes, when he thought nobody was looking. Newt would stand there next to Thomas, putting his ghost arms around him, but Thomas would never know he was there. He'd call out to Newt sometimes, "What would you say if you were here, Newt? I think you'd tell me it's fine to be upset. Right? Isn't that what you'd say?"

Newt would always reply, even though he knew Thomas couldn't hear him. And then of course, there was Minho. Newt would watch him agonize over Newt's death at the same time every day, while everyone else was out working or taking naps. He sit down, holding in tears and say,

"Newt, if you can hear me, I wish you were here. Everything is going along lovely, everyone is friends with everyone else. But nothing is the same without you shank. I wish you were here."

"I am here, Minho. I've been here with you ever since the Flat Trans closed." Newt would whisper, but Minho wouldn't hear him.

 _You trusted me, believed in me,_

 _And I've let you down!_

He'd let his friends down. Thomas especially. Thomas had been trying to get him to hold it together, could have if Newt had let him. Thomas had believed in him. Newt had lost hope and confidence in himself and had given up. And now look where he was, and more importantly where his friends were.

 _Of all the things I've hid from you_

 _I cannot hide the shame!_

 _And I hope someone, something will come and take away the pain!_

He'd hidden his suicide attempt from Thomas, until the Flare made him say something, probably should have said something beforehand, Thomas had always idolized him in the Maze, thinking mistakenly that he'd gotten his limp running from a Griever. He'd been meaning to tell him before the whole Flare business, but he'd felt too ashamed. Then he'd said it in a crazy, angered way, and he couldn't deny that he'd said it to hurt Thomas, when he'd been under the Flare's hold. He had been too angry to consider what it would feel like for Thomas to kill his best friend. There was nothing to take away the pain for Thomas and Minho, and Newt was still watching them suffer, his ghostly heart hurting for his friends.

He wished that he could walk up to them and tell them he was there, and actually have them hear him.

But he couldn't. Because he was dead, a ghost. And no matter how well he could hear their voices and his, they couldn't hear him. At all.

 _There's no way out, of this dark place,_

 _No hope, no future._

 _I know I can't be free!_

 _And I can't see another way,_

 _and I can't face another day._

He'd thought that if he died, they'd be free from having to keep fearing for their lives every time he got angry and then went insane, but now the three of them had the same problem. None of them were free.

Minho and Thomas were forever grieving for Newt and Newt was forever sad for his friends' pain.

There wasn't all that much future for a dead person, sitting there, watching his friends live out their lives, but if Newt thought about it, life didn't have much meaning for them either, due to the Flare.

Only a few hundred were Immune and the rest of the billions of the world were doomed to go crazy. Those hundred or so would be all alone to restart humanity.

Newt wondered if he maybe died while dead that it would bring him back to life without the Flare. But how do you kill a ghost? Answer: You don't, because a ghost is already dead, and boy, being dead was the hollowest existence there was.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

One day, Newt noticed a lone stranger wandering into the Immune's camp. He tried to alert Thomas and Minho, but they didn't hear his shout. So he got into a tree and started shaking the branch.

Since there was no breeze, the shaking branch caught their attention and they saw the stranger, who was obviously a Crank, and got everyone together.

"Look, we're Immune, so we can't catch it. But you only get to stay one day. You have to be gone by night. You look sane enough to avoid killing any of us for that long." Minho said, standing in a combative stance.

"Well, do you mean gone from your camp or past the Gone?" The Crank said, laughing at his little joke. He didn't sound crazy, not yet anyway.

"You know very well what I mean." Minho said, threatening the poor guy with his spear.

"Ok, I won't be any trouble. What's for lunch?"

They all ate a soup made from herbs that they'd found in the woods. The Crank left soon after a dinner of the same herbs. A few days later, he came back.

"I'm cured! I'm cured! I was trying to get into a city and was picked up by WICKED for an extra test! I'm cured and Immune!" He was yelling. Being a ghost, Newt could sense he was telling the truth. The others were skeptical and quarantined the man for a few days to see if he got aggressive, but he just sat there calmly smiling his head off. Finally, they let him out.

"Thomas, you know what this means?" Minho asked in a tremulous voice.

"Yeah. We found a Cure for the Flare." Thomas said, his eyes watering.

Newt knew what they were thinking about.

"If only I hadn't done what he said." Thomas said in a choked voice.

"If only I hadn't done what he said, Newt would still be alive, crazy and killing, but alive. We could've found him and given him the Cure!" His voice broke completely.

"What do you mean, if you hadn't done as he said? Are you saying he asked you to kill him?"

Minho asked incredulously. Thomas nodded and sobbed out the whole story.

"He said I was the only one he trusted with the trigger and that if I'd ever been his friend, I had to do it. I'm sorry, Minho. I was going to tell you, but never found the right way to do it. I'm Newt's murderer. You've been living with him this whole time! I'm so sorry! I'll leave the establishment if you want!"

Thomas was throwing out fairly unconnected sentences until his voice was muffled by Minho's shirt as Minho hugged him. Thomas felt tears falling onto his head, and he knew they weren't his own.

"It's alright, I understand. I know it's what Newt would've wanted. And I guess there are too few Immunes to kick you out for this, so sorry, you're stuck with us." Minho said through a few sobs. He was trying to make a joke, or a wise crack, even through his tears. Good ol' Minho.

Newt smiled. His two friends were going to be fine. Then he frowned. He was dead and didn't have to be. He wasn't fine.


End file.
